What am I feeling?

It’s not every day we try to analyze our thoughts and feelings. Typically on a good day, it doesn’t come up. We just are what we, think what we think, and feel as appropriate. But, that’s not working for me. Not anymore. Now is the time in my existence when there is more needed from me than I’ve ever been prepared to give.

I don’t think I have the right tools, actually. I don’t think I’m strong enough to save your life. I want to believe I am. I’ve thought for the longest time that I am. But, this test that I’m in, where I’m supposed to live my life and help you through yours, I’m failing. Miserably. I don’t even know if you’ll wake up tomorrow. How do help you?

I’m not judging you. I don’t do that anymore. Because, apparently, it’s never helped. This isn’t going as planned.

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